| It's come time to press play once again.
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| I came to this Xanga today to shut it down once and for all, but instead read my old entries from at least three years ago.
I never realized I was such a depressive thirteen-year-old.
If you could read my past entries, you would know.
"Last weekend I went to my friend's birthday party/sleepover. I
realized how much I hate people in general. I mean all of them.
Especially those people that are my age. I hate listening to my peers
talk about their retarded problems that really are insignificant
compared to others'. People talk about how broke they are and can't buy
life's little luxuries, but really, how important are new clothes from
Abercrombie or Hot Topic? I really shouldn't be talking, I spend a lot
of money on clothes every month. I even put clothing stores and
shopping on my interests, I think, and if they aren't on the list they
should be. I realize that I'm a horrible person. Buying expensive crap
like decoration pieces and nice furniture and stuff is so stupid, it
seems like the only reason people do it is to please others. If you
have ugly or cheap stuff in your room or home or at school, people will
talk about you or neglect you or look down on you. No one wants that,
now do they? People are just plain shitheads. All of them. Every single
godforsaken one of them. Even your friends. Even your family. We're all
just shitheads. Er, excuse my language. What is the purpose of life? I
mean, yeah, there's God and all, but in between that you have to become
a functioning member of society. If you don't, you're considered a bum.
People donate money and volunteer, but they still spend money on
seemingly useless stuff. Is a big screen televison really necessary?
Sure, to keep up on currents events, but why spend all of that money
when you could help dying kids in Africa? I just don't understand it. I
know I'm being completely hypocritical by saying all of this, but the
thought just crossed my mind. I know I don't make sense. I know that
saying this will change absolutely nothing. I'll probably even look
back on this entry and think about how clueless I am."
Excerpt from a very very old entry. It's more misanthropic than depressive, but I'm glad I was semi-self-aware back then.
I miss innocence.
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| no one will read this. but i'll write it anyway. i gave up on xanga so long ago. i read a couple of my older entries from back when i was in seventh grade. that proved to be interesting. seventh grade was three years ago. i hate how much things have changed since then. but i like how much xanga has improved since i last used it.
now, look at this godawful unflattering picture of me.
but mostly, just look at the fact that my hair is purple.
awww hell yeah. 
-fariha.
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| i use protection.
provacative.
my entries from now on are protected.
just 'cause.
-fariha. |
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